I am a convert to Catholicism. Growing up in the South, I knew little about Catholicism; like many, I thought of it as only another form of Christianity, an ethnic variation practiced by certain nationalities, whether Irish, Italian, Hispanic, etc. But I really gave little thought to it growing up, or to religion in general. I was raised nominally Protestant but I was not close to any of my more religious family members, many of whom failed to practice what they preached and so gave me the impression that Christianity was illusory and only a means to act superior to others. In middle school I began studying philosophy and fell in love with it, but my first real encounter with religion came through J.R.R. Tolkien. Like many, I felt the profound spirituality, sacramental beauty and ancient wisdom in his stories, something which Peter Jackson beautifully retained in his film adaptations, leading me to investigate Tolkien’s own religious background. This was my discovery of true Catholicism and my first steps toward conversion, what Tolkien called the baptism of the imagination. However, there were many detours along the way.
My Protestant family members responded to my interest in Catholicism by calling it pagan and Satanic, and eventually I became an atheist, due more to personal vices than their influence. It was only after a long process of studying the philosophies and religions of the world, seeking the one which could answer all questions, uphold an objective moral standard and provide a true sense of beauty and tradition, that I finally rediscovered Catholicism. I was baptized and confirmed on November 7th, 2018, and without Tolkien’s subtle introduction to the Faith, penetrating through biases and ignorance with the power of beauty, heroism and truth, as well as the guidance of studying his faith more deeply throughout my conversion journey, I may have never become Catholic.
Conversion is a central theme in Tolkien’s works, largely because it was central to his own life. Tolkien’s mother Mabel, whom he considered a saint and martyr, lost her husband when Tolkien was only three, but nevertheless she risked the inevitable abandonment of her Protestant family and the poverty that ensued in order to become Catholic, to embrace the True Faith she had come to know. Her sons converted with her and were raised, following her untimely death from diabetes, by Fr. Francis Morgan, a priest of the Birmingham Oratory.
Tolkien would eventually help his wife, Edith, convert as well, even though she, like Mabel, would be disowned by her Protestant relations, and Tolkien was similarly instrumental in helping convert one of the most famous Christian writers of the 20th century, C.S. Lewis, by revealing to him the fulfillment of the truth, goodness and beauty which Lewis identified in mythology by the True Myth of the Gospel. The martyrdom of his mother remained inspirational to Tolkien throughout his life, even as he endured persecution by non-Catholics around him and the falling away of some of his own children from the Faith which, in his mother’s memory, pained him deeply, but he always clung to the Barque of St. Peter no matter how tumultuous the storms.
There are many examples of conversion in Tolkien’s stories, including the deathbed conversions of Thorin Oakenshield and Boromir, but perhaps the most important conversion story occupied the main plot of his first published story in Middle-earth, The Hobbit. Bilbo Baggins, a simple hobbit of modest desires and few pretensions, is certainly not a bad person when the story begins, nor is he particularly noble. He is quite ordinary, as is his intention, wanting only to avoid trouble and scandal and to live in the private comfort of Bag End.
Bilbo loves what is good, the beauties of Creation, the simple pleasures of food and drink, the company of close friends and the cultural traditions of his people, all of which are admirable, as Thorin would come to recognize: “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”[1] Yet he has little thought for the great evils at work in the world. He, like most other hobbits, is blissfully ignorant of the history of Morgoth and Sauron, of the Rings of Power and the wars waged in their name over the preceding centuries. He sees this sort of thing as the concern of the “Big Folk,” not of the humble and simple like himself.
The mission of Gandalf is to rouse Bilbo from his slumber. Gandalf sees not only that in Bilbo’s heart is a genuine compassion for others and an eagerness to experience the world, but also that the Free Peoples are in desperate need of the humility and simplicity cherished by Bilbo and his folk. Gandalf knows that the spiritual battles at work invisibly in Middle-earth, both that of Smaug and the dragon sickness of greed which will come to plight Thorin as well as the greater threat of Sauron and his secret return to power, require not just martial strength, deep knowledge and willpower to conquer, as do worldly problems – rather, he understands that sin can only be defeated by humility, self-abnegation and love. While the heirs of Numenor, the lords of the Eldar and the hearty Dwarves could stand up to Sauron’s hordes of orcs, only the humility of hobbits could overcome the temptation to undeserved power offered by Sauron and his Ring.
Nevertheless, Bilbo was still in need of conversion. Like Middle-earth itself, Bilbo begins as a kind of pre-Christian, a noble pagan who is ignorant of the truths of revelation and the spiritual battle of salvation. Despite his initial resistance, Bilbo is drawn out of his comfort by Gandalf – not through threats or even the promise of riches but by the opportunity to sacrifice himself for the other. He is prompt in charity and guided by the classical virtue of magnanimity, the desire to do great things for their own sake; these overcome his pusillanimity, or aversion to heroism, rooted in sloth and pride.
Bilbo is arrested from his familiarity by Gandalf and the dwarves, reminding him that there is a wider world out there of which he is a part and to which he owes responsibility. Through his humility, Bilbo is able to overcome all the trials thrown at him along the way and even helps others, like Thorin, to convert as well. By the time he returns home, Bilbo is not a typical hero, but a saint – one who, after leaving convenience and facing sin and death, has chosen the good, and although the One Ring of temptation remains with him, as it does for all converts, he has been effectively baptized through redemptive suffering and charitable self-sacrifice.
Bilbo is a model for all converts. Although he is not as infamous as a terrible sinner who converts, he is likely more typical. For most of us, including those who are already Christian and called to the lifelong process of conversion to Christ, the most common temptations we will face will be those shared by Bilbo: complacency, ignorance, worldly pleasure, pusillanimity, deceit. These drive many more people away from Christ than do all the newsworthy scandals and heinous crimes, and, like the Ring, they continue to seduce us throughout our lives. May Bilbo’s example of conversion, like that of Tolkien, his mother and C.S. Lewis, inspire us to strive always to be converted, in thought and deed, to Christ.
(Cover image copyright of the Tolkien Estate: https://tolkiengateway.net/w/index.php?curid=29365)
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[1] J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit (Mariner Books, 2012), loc 4232-4242. Kindle.
Amen! This was my favorite essay of yours so far. The way you applied the theme of conversion into your life, our lives, the text, and the Professor's, really hit the spot!